VOLUME THREE



Dear E-Mailers,

Happy Aphrodisias Festival! This is a blatant pitch for you to read "Cyprus: Land of Passion" & "Cyprus: Jewel of the Mediterranean."

Great letters; provocative questions! I have divided the mail into:

  • 'BIZARRE',
  • 'SITE SUPPORT'
  • 'THRILLS'&
  • 'BACKSTAGE PAST.'

    There's a lot to answer. But then, there's a lot to answer for in life! Thank you so much for writing. You guys work me...I like it...

    HOW BIZARRE:
    'Three years ago I received a film of an alien crash in Carp, Canada. I live in Silicon Valley and we took it to the video lab and spent 2 weeks trying to prove that it was not genuine. The sender was trying to debunk the story and needed us to do it for him. Sorry...no go... it was genuine. This started a chain of events, which drew me into the world of UFO researchers. There was another incident, a crash of 2 UFOs on Long Island where 3 aliens, one alive were taken to Brookhaven Laboratory. I was contacted yesterday by Mona Rowe (DOE: Department of Energy). They had more info for me. I think you might call me a 'controlled leak.' After reading a few pages about you and David, I find it interesting that both of you were interested in UFOs. I would very much like to talk to you about aliens. Crashes, alien bodies and even a group called the grays who supposedly tried to reach me through a channel named Salura.'(jbm)

    Thank you so much for your interesting letter. I would like to talk to you too. In anticipation of our conversation, I looked up a few web sites. I was so disappointed at the lack of evidence contained on them. I am sure you feel the same way about their lack of content or have I just not hit the pay dirt list of UFO sites? The first thing about UFO sites is that you can't download. The second thing is childish, die if that's what it takes; risk everything don't talk a good X files and then not risk your life. Their lives are threatened but they don't put up the video or the photographs. The third thing is that they are never properly researched. Why are there no pictures? Even your letter, you don't offer to let us see the video or stills from the video. We have the tools. If it was important enough to authenticate, is it not important enough to display? The Grays, the Norse, the Light people: you can find evidence to support anything. The entire concept could be a DNA shadow memory, a genetic imprint. There could be markers which awaken us to metamorphe into another type of life form. Could be anything.

    Why are we fixated in the belief that alien visitation would require our removal. I am much more interested in the power of my mind to remove me from this planet and allow me to exist in a variety of dimensions and habitats. I would like to visit alien planets and if I wait on the mechanics of a vehicle to carry me to another galactic paradise, I could wait a long time. But though I may voice an interest in this it has not yet happened to me. I may not have invested the required amount of time to access the skills to do this but it is not #1 on my list of priorities. I received my first e-mail from India! The message was lost just the e mail address left! If someone in India is reading the site maybe I'll find my school friend, Bharat Jenghiani. "The architecture in Brasilia is indeed unique, as is the whole town. I spent 5 months there in 1990 with my wife and it was a unique experience. In fact everything in Brasilia is unique except that can be either good or bad. Oscar Niemeyer envisioned a city of the future but he overlooked one little fact. People would still be walking in the future and walking is good for your health. Brasilia is definitely not pedestrian friendly. The usual joke in Brasilia is that man is made of head, trunk and wheels. If you don't drive, there isn't much you can do in Brasilia. There are sidewalks but you don't feel very comfortable walking on them. They're too large and every block looks far apart. On the other hand if you do drive, you can go just anywhere in minutes. But the atmosphere there is too cold, everything is divided in sectors, like a real life office oriented version of Disneyland. And the weather is unbelievably dry. I would never want to live, I love my home town of Porto Alegre" (Emilio)

    Is this not the most terrific privilege to have eye witness accounts of life around the world?

    'So what are you up to these days, are you still singing. I have the concert you did in 1985 on video, and also a few photos from it, don't know whether you have it or not or if you're interested. I actually would really love a signed photo of you, I don't know if that would be possible, I would even put the money to a charity that you choose.'(Alex)

    I will be delighted to send you a signed photograph, may take a while. Stacia has been after me to make them available. There was a letter asking about my son Joe. He appears very well, thank you. Another about Stacia, she is fine, thank-you and arrived on Sunday morning like an Easter bunny, she got tired of waiting for me to come visit, she said! My name is Laura and I'm doing a school project on glam rock and the sexual revolution. There aren't very many books written on the topic, and I was hoping that you'd be willing to give me some information or let me interview you. Anything you could give me would be extremely helpful. My friend Mark Bego sent me a book: 'Rock Fashion'. It is published by Omnibus Press. It is a new book but if your library will not order it for you, take a look at it in the bookstore. It is a large coffee table book with MANY pictures and comments from interesting designers and boutique owners. None of the book is in my taste. I have always preferred the style-beats-money approach which to my mind is very rock n' Roll. I had a real problem with entertainment folk who can't wait to be pictured in Vogue, just how much more capitalist establishment can you get? Vogue is total establishment acceptance: the kiss of death. Here is a photograph of David and Zowie and me in Amsterdam in 1974. Include Photos from book and the cover.

    Site Support:

    'Nice interesting stuff. You're great!' (Jerome)

    'I wanted to say I think this page is simply wonderful, truly inspirational, honestly. Keep up the good work' (Lavinia)

    'You have had a huge influence on me. I have always looked up to you and your style, I hope to read your book very soon.' (Froggy)

    'Great article. Thanks' (Magda)

    'I love your site. I am a BI-female also and enjoy finding interesting sites on the subject. Thank you.' (Becky)

    'yo angie. Y'site basically rocks. You rock. Bi rocks. Rock rock rock.'(Snikit)

    'I just want to say that I admire you. You are being honest and standing up for what you are. I heard about this site when I read the interview with you on 5years. I think the world would be so much better if people were a bit more like you. Keep up the good work and take care.' (Daniel L.)

    'Don't know if you remember me from the past but I met you many times especially backstage in Philadelphia at the Kennel club after your debut. I also met you after you were on the Mike Douglas show in Philadelphia. At the Ben Franklin hotel and the Barclay hotel of course you were with David back then. I hope all is well with you...I am also good friends with Lenny Mcfadden if you remember her.'(Patrick)

    I do remember, but there's very few things that I forget. How lovely to hear from you. Give my love to Lenny and a kiss.

    'Do you believe that 'Fantastic Voyage' is written about you or your marriage? I've always thought so but never seen it mentioned. Though the timing was right also. "In the event that this FV should turn to erosion, and we never grow/get old; remember it's true, dignity is valuable, but our lives are valuable too"(Rick)

    What? Referring to ? Not the first part; the quote!

    'Just read the article on bisexuality and write to say that it is one of the most honest, well-written pieces on this topic that I personally have ever read. But what is really strange is that I agree with a lot of what you have written in this article (which is not like me I usually differ with everything!!) Ciao for now.'(Alisha)

    I can relate to this girl! What are you up to? What adventures has life dealt you? Fill me in, tell me all the news. I want to know!!!

    THRILLS

    We are going to celebrate the FESTIVAL OF APHRODISIAS with a VIRTUAL SEXATHON. I asked Daniel 'what's up?' and here is his reply:

    'I actually got a reply. Sorry for the shouting but I can't believe it after all these years I have lost count of the amount of times I have tried to talk to you. You wouldn't believe how many times I have shouted your name as you have been rushed into waiting cars and building just hoping to get a smile or a wave that I could say was directed at me. Now I've had a chance to speak to you I am at a loss for words. I'm 29, male single parent of one beautiful boy also called Daniel. I was brought up in quite a rigid household ma and pa being quite anal in their need for the chores etc to be done and every rule to be followed. My brother and I had great fun stepping out of line just to watch mum pray and Dad go red and chase us with the bamboo cane that held up the rubber plant. Over the years I would swoon over you and big Bro would play Bowie at full volume. He could never understand why I loved you so much and to be honest although I liked the music I never shared his passion for Bowie thus we would have heated arguments (still to this day) mostly because he wouldn't hear a bad word against David and I always thought you got a raw deal...I lost touch with my brother in 1985 after 3 years. I was 14 at the time and my brother thought it appropriate that this was the day I lost my virginity. So that night as mum and dad were at bingo he came home with a lovely blonde girl. He said that she was a fan of yours and I must say she made quite an effort to look just like you but to be honest never really pulled it off and when she tried to mimic the way you spoke she became more irritating than desirable but she was a very outspoken girl and lived the part well. Anyway I digress.....My brother in all his infinite wisdom thought that I would be turned on by the prospect of laying an Angie look-alike and as a first conquest it would blow my mind...Sad to say I lasted just about as long as she took to get into it so all in all it was a disaster. I actually found it a lot more pleasurable to watch as my brother laid claim and lasted what I thought was an eternity with me ever the opportunist getting a sneak feel along the way...Anyway this girl and my brother continued to hang around listening to records and generally making out whenever they could. Tuesdays were always special because that was the night mum and dad would go to bingo leaving the house free for me and my brother to smoke and entertain our Angie guest. She would try different outfits on trying to emulate you and we would be coaxing her to be more and more outrageous 'til one Tuesday she said, "want to try something different/" in her best Angie voice. Of course we said 'yes' and then we were both led by the hand to the bedroom where she stripped naked and said she wanted both of us at the same time. She said, 'I read Angie and David do this' so needless to say we got straight down to it and surprisingly I lasted longer this time it was heaven all bodies intermingling touching sucking etc. Utter bliss that was until the door flung open and in the doorway were my mum and dad. Jenny riding me and my brother taking her anally at the time (What a sight for old Mum and Dad). Mum screamed before faking a faint and dad didn't know whether to kill or join us. Sadly he did the latter and raining blows on my brother and me shouting that he was turning me into a devil heathen just like he was....Chris was thrown out of the house and I was grounded for a month as was Jenny, my father had the gall to tell her parents. So the years went past and I didn't see my brother until 1988 when I passed my test and drove to Swansea to see him. It was sad he seemed so sensible. He had since fallen in love with a girl called Jayne and had son but he was no longer the wild carefree bloke I knew though I still love him to bits. We spoke into the night but then and over the years he never sparked like he used to...skipping forward I met my wife Toni a wild full of life kinda girl always smiling and she would do anything for me I loved her she became my world we were overjoyed when she fell pregnant in June 93 we got married in July of the same year and in March 94 she gave me a wonderful little boy we argued over names she wanted terry I wanted James we couldn't decide so we called him Daniel Terry She just had to have Terry. Needless to say we were overjoyed when he arrived and as I got Mum and son ready to take home to the bedsit we had I couldn't wait as I'd cleaned the place from top to bottom hung streamers, balloons etc The doctor entered and said he was sorry but they thought my wife had a kidney infection and would have to stay for a few days...I was gutted and after much arguing he finally relented and said we could go home Everything went as usual.sleepless nights early mornings dirty nappies but we were happy all three of us.

    One morning my wife said that she felt a lump under her breast and we went to the doctor and was sent for tests at the local hospital being told that it was probably a cyst...Needless to say that many tests and 3 days later she was diagnosed with cancer of the kidney. I was devastated as was my beautiful young wife...She was rushed into the theater and her left kidney was removed. She convalesced for 2 months as I took over the care of the baby and called in to see her every day. Sad to say she stayed in hospital for the next 7 months and was told she had secondary cancer of the spine. I couldn't believe it she had lost all her zest and most of all the enjoyment of our nine month old son...She passed away just after Christmas and new year Jan. 15th It was like a ten ton truck hitting me in the chest.....I cared for our son as I do now in the way she would have wanted, no REAL chastising and as a FREE SPIRIT. An individual with love and needs like us all. I wouldn't say it hasn't been hard cos at times it has but all worth it. I won't say I'm over it cos I don't think you can actually get over something like that you just learn to cope. It was at this time that I reflected on your book FREE SPIRIT and took the love and inspiration that it gave me to keep driving me forward and so far it's worked Someone like myself sometimes at odds and sometimes given the bum's rush but to keep going on that is the real strength and to keep believing the true power! Don't get me wrong I haven't told you this for sympathy as that's the last thing I need. I just wanted you to know what an inspiration you have been to me over the years and for that and your love and beauty I thank you as this was enough. Also I don't want to come across as a Bizarre obsessed fan just a fan and a loyal one at that. Anyway on a lighter note I have now got myself a job fixing tellys and videos. I can fit it around Daniel's schooling and it gives me the extra few pounds to keep him in the latest fashions and fads so if he's happy then I am too. Anyway thanks again and if it isn't too cheeky I'd love to have a signed pic or even an autograph.' (Daniel)

    Certainly Daniel: My condolences on the loss of your wife, I cried as I read it the first time and I cried when I typed it into this article. I am so sorry for your loss and so complimented that Free Spirit was useful. Some day I'll tell you the story of getting that book published! Thank you so much for writing.

    'I am a 25 year-old female, that has been brought up with very strong catholic values. I recently made love to one of my dearest friends. Won't lie, she is a very attractive young woman that could have just about anyone she wants. I have always dated men and so has she until one night we were out clubbing we started flirting a lot with each other. When we got in my car we just locked our eyes together, and we started kissing. I hadn't enjoyed those type of kisses by any man I had gone out w/. For some reason it meant more. She whispered in my ear if she could go down on me and I said yes. She started undressing me as I was also undressing her. At first I was shocked by what was happening, but I know in my heart I was making love to her, because of the beautiful person that she is. We made love for almost 3 hours. Why tell you all this? I guess I really want to be honest with somebody out there. Being with another woman had crossed my mind before but I never thought I would do it. Because of that night I made love to my friend, I have been so confused. I am currently seeing this guy, that could lead to a very serious relationship, but I'm scared I'm scared and confused that I enjoyed being with my friend more than I enjoyed being with him. She is currently seeing someone pretty serious too. I even think they are getting married. After that night I was w/ her, we haven't talked about what happened. She did tell me that night that I had fulfilled one of her dreams, and she was happy that it was with me. I gotta tell you though, the way we kissed the way we connected that night seemed as if we had both been waiting for that moment for the longest time. I don't know what to do. I have known her for around 10 years and now we live in different states. I guess the advice I'm asking you for is should I talk to her about it? I don't want to lose those many years of friendship for that one night. I find myself thinking about her at night during the day, of what could be, if we would make a relationship out of what we have. I have a feeling she might feel the same way about me. Is this the type of confusion that bisexual people face? I just want to see what you say about my experience.' (MEM)

    Well, MEM, confusion? Yes. Plenty of confusion. One's heart says go, one's brain says stay. Throw caution to the wind, live in the now, be all you can be. The messages are numerous as we design the blueprint of our lives. I can only tell you, best beloved (Thank you, Mr. Kipling) that the view does become clearer the further away from a problem you get. Maybe it's time to take a trip. Check out her environment; see if she has the same ambitions as you or if her choice indicates anything at all about what you might expect from a life together. Does she even want it or has she settled for the usual way to avoid confrontation?

    None of these choices are wrong but it might enlighten you as to what you want if you see what she is willing to settle for. If that dovetails with your idea of life then you will have successfully completed a field trip of emotional research!

    The question you are asking yourself is intense. It is the question as to whether you are going to be a renegade or whether you are going to join in and let the majority give you a voice. Judging from your letter you already have a voice. I think you are wise to collect the data and attempt an informed decision. But what are you going to do? Declare yourself? Would you be so impulsive if it had been 'good sex' with a man? Would you topple the towers in your life's skyline for sex? I don't think so. That's not thoughtful or sensitive and you are both of those. Not an easy decision.

    'My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and already have made a commitment to spend the rest of our lives together. I love no other person but him and have no wish to be with any other person but him. However we have both been experiencing strong desires to be involved with someone of the same sex. The desire grows stronger every day. We have discussed it together and we have talked about a one night thing where we carry out our fantasies and record it for the other to see. Yet the more we talk and think about it, the more we realize the emotional pain that will be involved. If I really think about it I don't want him to be intimate with anyone else, whether female or male. And he has expressed the same about me. In fact we are so jealous we probably wouldn't let the other person try it. Yet we can't get these thoughts out of our heads. Every time I masturbate I am thinking about another woman. In fact it turns me on more than thinking about my boyfriend. I even start to picture women that I see naked. I don't know what to do. W are both frustrated that half of us once wants to try it and the other half is Strongly opposed to the idea. Please Help.' (anon.)

    I sympathize. From a philosophical point of view we want to conquer jealousy. But most lives are balancing interaction with vice and virtue, where there's vice: there's jealousy.

    When I entered the debate; my intellect understood the premise. The reality of tainting one's intimacy with other players is hard to repair. Many people have a problem showing affection and intimacy. If you have accomplished that important triumph don't mess it up; for what? I have a better idea; change identities, cross-dress, You can enjoy that 'girl' with a fluffed boy, he can enjoy a man that's all woman and someone he loves: YOU. It'll be better 'cos there will be all kinds of surprises to keep you turned on.'

    'My wife and I have been together for 22 years happily married and share a tremendous passion for each other. Despite the pressure of having our own business and raising a seven yr. old child. We normally have sex 5 or 6 times a week and have been doing so since the first time we met. About 10 years ago we got into swinging. We have shared experiences with couples and many threesomes involving straight males but it was all straight sex with the women not physically interacting. During some sessions with a couple my wife went down on the woman who came instantly, since then which was about 4 years ago she's had no desire to be with another woman despite encouragement on my part. Most recently when I raised the subject once again she replied that she finds the idea to be disgusting. I'm not sure how to proceed, as I'm confident knowing her passion that if she would allow herself to let go, she would find the experience to be quite fulfilling. I have even thought of having a bisexual experience in front of her next time we decide to invite a male for a threesome in the hopes of showing her it's OK. It's very frustrating as this would be a great turn on and I know it would be for her too. I would appreciate any suggestions you might have."

    I am not sure how you will proceed either. If she finds it disgusting, then you've had it and no amount of understanding as to how she would enjoy it; were you able to precipitate the event is going to change the negative content of her response. The reality is your wife said NO, she finds it disgusting so back off; that's it. Until you find her in the arms of some gorgeous woman, her opinion and wishes are all you can rely on. You can expect her to perform to service your fantasy but that's not really a partnership is it? That's seeing who has the clout.

    'Magnetic Angie, Thank you for replying to my message about the girl who feels herself rather a gay boy! Today I realized that there are a boy and girl in everyone and that it is the most natural thing to feel different sexual affinity from time to time. Why this topic is a taboo? It seems a bit similar to that statement which says that those people we say are insane, are normal, and we who are found to be normal are all mental patients. You with your articles and a friend of mine helped me with this brand new discovery of mine. Hooray Internet! What a pretty good chance it is to discover ourselves. My next question: can you be in love with more people at the same time or you think it is not love? (Scorpion)

    I couldn't have put it better myself! About this second question: Can you be in love with more people at the same time or you think it is not love? Hmmm...let me think. Be in love with 2 people at the same time? Yes, I think so. Particularly if they are different enough from each other to engage opposing areas of your interest. Being in love does not always require a physical relationship which is a good health note. You were vague! I'll be specific. Falling in love and maintaining the aura of being in love with somebody is a good activity to practice. Creating magic between people becomes more powerful the more you rehearse. One of the most enchanting things to me is a person who asks themselves five question every day and gets a positive response:

    Did I practice any virtues today; integrity, honesty and compassion?
    Did I do more good than harm?
    Did I treat others with dignity and respect?
    Was I fair and just?
    Was my community better because I was in it? Was I better because I was in my community?

    (Thanks to Dr. Thomas Shanks of the Ethics Connection web site for this quote.) A human unit who answers yes to even a couple of these questions is pretty nice to be around. I wouldn't waste time falling in love with someone who didn't stack up with at least 80%.

    'Thank you for putting this informative big site on the web! I think it is still today not possible in a normal working day life to speak about bisexuality or what you call two-spirited souls. So I thank you for publishing your opinion. I think it is very hard to make up ones own mind about one's own spirituality and sexual orientation. The idea that you have to decide which one you want to be to my mind is also false! I have been following your and David's life for nearly 20 years now and your 'approach' has truly inspired me. I know at least that people in the arts will have it easier to stand openly for their bisexuality than 'normal people'. What do you think? Are you privileged in this matter?' (Susanne)

    Good Question! I suppose life in the arts has a few advantages in the areas of behavior acceptance. But there are so many disadvantages to living as an 'artist': Lack of regular employment, the necessity to live in places that are overpriced and where the work does not merit the personal inconvenience. Extreme pollution or extreme inflation, a lack of proper living space; the examples being Los Angeles or New York. They are 2 of my favorite cities: Los Angeles because it's still there and who doesn't love New York? But they are uninhabitable for me.

    In other words the price you pay for being an artist and living the life is a high price for sexual freedom. As times change and lifestyles are judged on their outcome rather than their novel inception, the ripple effect and the power of data distribution will mean acceptance in all regulated industries. You might gain comfort by reading the books of Dr. Robin Baker, the research is not direct but your intellect will strategize the outcome. Future Sex is one of his most recent and then Sperm Wars. He is an interesting popular scientist and I am sure you will enjoy reading his predictions for the future particularly in men's rights and paternity testing.

    'I am so happy someone is discussing the subject. You are very pretty. I am a black woman in the arts and would really like to know you and talk to you. Lunch is on me.' (Anna)

    It's mutual! I wish we could all meet, maybe we will and thank you so much for writing.

    As for you 3:

    'I like sex very much. I don't have woman. Can u make sex with me?'

    'I don't consider myself homo. However at your command?'

    'I love you; you are so pretty, please e mail me you are the coolest"

    Thank you! There have been quite a few sexual suggestions:

    "Lily tapped her fingertips on the desk, reached for a pad and started planning a weekend away. Where should she go? The seaside. She loved walking on the beach and collecting shells and swimming. Maybe the mountains? Fishing for trout in a creek to cook for breakfast, that would be fun! No, it had to be the beach. She thought about the shells and wavered; was there time to go to Hawaii? As if in a flash, she was there, unpacking her scarlet bikini. Lily glanced around the room. It was pink, that was OK. She'd know she was there! She slung a camera bag over her shoulder, picked up the room keys and set off to go shelling. She couldn't believe she'd found a flight and landed an hour ago in Kauai. The beach was visible a few hundred feet away through an arched tunnel of branches.

    The clouds were baked ready for the afternoon rain. Lily plunged forward ploughing the sand with her heels. "I will feel this tomorrow" she thought as she stepped out. Treasures halted her progress: first a long fluted purple shell and then pin shells and all types of conch shells. She was looking for cowries, when she saw a gold chain caught on a rock. She picked it up and dangling at the end of it was a shell outlined in filigree gold. There was an enameled figurine of a woman; she was fashioned with hair that flowed past her waist, a stray tendril licked her knee.

    "I wonder who lost this?" said Lily. She fastened the chain around her neck. 'You'll be safe here Missy. You are a girl aren't you?" she said and stroked the figurine.

    She hiked for miles up and back along the beach grinding the sand with her heels. She sat through a few drops of rain and returned to the hotel at dusk.

    Lily was about to get into bed, she realized that she had not turned in the medallion. She unfastened it from her neck.

    'Free me.'

    Lily looked around the room and walked to the widow. She peered outside there was no one there.

    'If you set me free I'll give you a kiss.'

    Lily looked around startled and reached for the phone, she was hearing things or there was someone in the room with her. The operator asked if she needed something. What was she going to say? There's a voice in my room?

    'I would like an alarm call and breakfast @ 6.00,' said Lily with authority, hoping she had covered her confusion.

    'Set me free.'

    Lily was looking right at the medallion: she saw the lips move.

    'I'd love to,' said Lily. 'How do I do that?'

    "If you come, I'll be free.'

    That seemed simple enough.

    'Can I make love to myself? As long as I come; you'll be free?'

    'Yes'

    Lily was taken aback.

    'Why are you trapped, what is your name?'

    'My name is Athena. I am imprisoned by neglect.'

    Whose neglect?'

    'Luis & Deidra. Luis Alfonse & Deidra Carras.'

    What is it you want me to do?'

    "You have to orgasm. I will be set free immediately if you orgasm thinking of me."

    OK I'll jack off in the shower tomorrow morning." She rolled over and then as she closed her eyes she heard a tiny sob. Lily's eyes opened. She looked at Athena who was crying.

    Oh al right I'll do it now. The tears stopped. Lily shook her head. You're pretty trusting. Lily turned on the shower. She sat on the edge of the bathtub and waited for the water to warm up. She turned the lights off and lit a candle the hotel provided, an aromatherapy moment! Lily tested the temperature: perfect. She stepped into the shower and spread soap all over her body and started to pummel and massage. Bring that blood to the surface. A quiet weekend! What a joke. Go to the beach pick up a few shells before you know it you're talking to a piece of jewelry! Lily shook her head what next? Well, there was that next, make myself come, OK? But hey it was worth a try. She started to play. She thought about Athena's tiny perfect body and laughed it was impossible to be turned on by something so small and then she thought what Athena could do, being so small. She could walk up inside her and deliver a thrashing sperm to the voracious egg. Soon she thought. With one hand on the wall Lily completed the dance.

    'Thank you Lily, that is your name?'

    Lily looked up trying to catch her breath, Athena stood in front of her, tall, alive, real not a figurine. Her face was heart-shaped with lush, defined lips, pale white skin and her body was alabaster in its hue and her nipples were black. Athena's hand reached for Lily's. She looked at her shyly and then burst into a peal of infectious laughter. Lily watched the curve of her smile and the movement of her lips. Athens said,

    "Come on, let me do that for you." She threw her arms around Lily's neck and pressed her wet body against her rubbing the slick smooth water until it hissed and steamed, the shower was lukewarm but Lily cranked the jets and grabbing Athena's head under the chin bones, she placed a deep and searching kiss on those swollen lips. Lily's tongue melted in surrender as Athena launched her hungry mouth. She crumpled into Lily's arms from the heat of the shower and the persistent rubbing of her soul. Lily carried her into the bedroom and wrapped her in towels. Lily needed to think, a bath? Yes, that would do it, a bath with oil and bubbles. Lily slipped into the water and thought about the day. Was there any reason to doubt her sanity? No.

    and made love to her. She spasmed as Lily finally crashed a come and then another as Athena's gasps turned to song. She recited her love for Lily having saved her from the prism dimension. Lily nodded and accepted her thanks. "You want to thank me? Keep doing this."

    What? Said Athena laughing, this? As she spread Lily's legs.

    Yes, that and Lily entered that state, the trance before release. She was happy, this weekend was going to work.

    'Why were you imprisoned?'

    'I loved too much.'

    "Really?" answered Lily "How is that possible?"

    "They loved without me."

    "You mean, Deidra and Luis. You were jealous." "No, no they loved without me. We were three; they left me out I couldn't forgive."

    "I see," said Lily. "So what did you do?"

    "I banished myself."

    "To a piece of jewelry?"

    "I knew someone would find it and want it, keep it and then I could implore them to release me."

    "So you chose whom you wished to find you. A process of selection is that what you're saying?"

    "Enough questions Lily?"

    Lily's eyes never left Athena's. She gazed deeply into them and as they turned to waves and tried to drag her deep under the current Lily surfed:

    "Come on baby, can't stoop to a quick one? Have to drive me nuts? Get in my head? Be there at all times? I don't think so but you're pretty and I'd love to kiss those lips now slide in her and stop seducing the seducer!"

    Lily made love to Athena with all her might, when she thought she not a drop of strength left, she would start again. Athena clung to her and finally Lily said.

    'I'll be back. Why don't you come with me?'

    Athena walked on the beach with her and chose shells for Lily's ever-growing collection.

    'Come with me. Come and look at big old Los Angeles. How long have you been gone?"

    'I don't know,' answered Athena.

    'What do you mean? You don't remember or you don't know.'

    Monday morning, Lily made an appointment to have extensions put into her hair, then she opened her e mails:

    'Thanks for the dance Lily. If you ever need a tango partner come to the beach.'

    Lily laughed and hit reply

    'Athena, I twirl you right now on my big heart. Suck me. I'll be there Friday. LILY' (ab c2000)

    'I would like to chat with you about bisexual female. I too have had sex with a female. I have thought about being with a female for almost 8 years and when it finally happened I couldn't believe it. The young lady and I got along very well. The problem is that I am married to a wonderful black man. I need for you to answer a question for me. Since I had sex with one female does that also make me bisexual?'

    Does it bother you? It shouldn't. It's just another experience in that huge tapestry of life. What you make of an experience depends on what you take away from a situation. Sometimes you win big time. Win a new friend, lover or relative. Other times you learn not to revisit that particular territory of life. No, it doesn't make you anything; just opens your range of possibilities relationship-wise

    'I have a problem. I am 15 and BI-curious. I liked this female on the track team with me so I wrote this letter O told her about myself etc. and it seemed like it bothered her. I knew her for a while and it surprised me when she acted this way towards me. She told her teacher about the letter and we kinda had a conference with the teacher. She said she was tired of people asking her if she was gay. Now she isn't talking to me at all and I miss her, as a friend. We're still on the track team and we don't say one word. I tried talking to her but she won't even stop to listen. What should I do I don't want to lose a friendship over b.s. (Asha) Fifteen! Yeah, that's the age that's when it starts!

    Asha, the problem is not with you. Sometimes committing friendship to paper is scary to the recipient. The same way we love love-letters because of the emotion, the words, the tactile sense we get from holding the paper on which the person wrote. Receiving a letter can be an emotional experience particularly if you only know someone superficially.

    On the track team, it's probably a heightened sensitivity to not wanting to be classified as butch or fem. People are sensitive and strereotypes can dog us through school and college. Maybe she mistook your letter of acquaintance as a come-on. Maybe she was embarrassed because she didn't feel the same way. Maybe she's never thought something through for herself before. So she went to the coach or teacher. That's good, she did not put herself at risk from complications she sought someone in authority to mediate a situation she did not know how to handle.

    Remember because we understand her reaction does not imply that you behaved badly. You did not. It takes a certain kind of person to react honestly. Why did her reaction upset you?

    It should not; because as much as you have the right to explain how you feel; she has the right to be frightened. She's your age, right? As far as salvaging this friendship, I think the best thing to do is: give it time.

    There is no time when you're 15, I know. But you can't make someone care for you or be your friend if they feel you disrespected them by writing a letter that was too forward. So give it time and if you are destined to become friends you will; maybe at college or in sports later, it'll all work out, you'll see.

    'My husband and I want to have a female partner in our bed but we are having a hard time finding the right person. If you could help us out I would appreciate it. We live in Texas so if you might know of someone please let us know! This will be our first time and very excited about doing this.'(Diane)

    There is something about this that leaves me feeling uneasy. If that's what you want; hire a lady of the night and pay someone for your pleasure. It amazes me the amount of people who think that because they want something it should just happen. You have to pay the piper. Whoever is in your bed is going to be a prop for the fundamental relationship that is going on, in this case your marriage. There will be no spiritual or psychic benefit for the third party therefore they should be compensated. What would anyone want to get involved with somebody so obviously married? Married people who want to play around need to hire the appropriate help.

    'My name is Frank. I am 53 year old married male. I live in Gallup, New Mexico. I have a wife and 8 year old child. I am a professional nurse with BS in Nursing. My question to you is a rather personal one but I would like your opinion. I am highly sexual. I am aroused pretty much on a daily basis by a pretty woman. Men do not interest me per se, but I have fantasies about she-males and I don't mean physical looking ones that you can tell are men, like transvestites who dress as women. I mean real TS who are beautiful but carry that extra part.'

    And why Not? I have fantasies about them myself. It has to be the ideal to be totally equipped in the genitalia department. To have one or a couple of everything. What a trip! We love the extra part!

    'Why does it seem that people who participate in alternate lifestyles have a hard time with being faithful? I am a bisexual woman that got herself into a committed relationship with another woman. She then ended up dating my best friend. We were still together when it began to happen and the girl and I were still friends. Not anymore! But it put a bad taste in my mouth about alternative relationships. I don't trust women anymore gay or straight.'

    Do you hear yourself whining? What has this betrayal got to do with "people in alternate lifestyles"? That's people baby, not alternate lifestyles. Deceit, injustice, treachery, lies, self-justification, cruelty, and envy these are the emotions of the day amongst many people. Don't hang with a negative crowd. Where there is more tolerance or more understanding you will pay; that's life. It's like an alcoholic swearing off a brand of liquor or a writer threatening never to use paper again. You are going to have to trust women; you are a woman. It may be time for some self-examination so that you are less gullible or more determined as to your own aspirations and dreams, less ready to throw in your lot with some one else. Sacrificing your life for someone else's dream is ridiculous and you will only have yourself to blame if 3 or 4 or 10 or 20 years later you look up and realize that a chunk of time is missing and you were busy hanging on the cross devoting yourself to somebody else and wasting your energy not on your own life but that unspeakable servility which accompanies martyrdom. This is a justified cause of resentment. For our school systems to succeed we must install FREEDOM of THOUGHT first and then FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

    'Since the age of 11 years old, I have known that I am bisexual. I was not molested as a child or recruited or forced into this lifestyle. I am now 30 years old and the fact that I am attracted to and am able to carry on relationships both romantic, sexual and platonic with men and women is wonderful to me.'

    'I read your compelling dissertation with wonder and amazement. As a man of art and SCIENCE, I must ask you if you have considered putting the hypotheses posed from your anecdotal experiences to the test...I mean with a real, rigidly controlled, carefully planned, social experiment...just a thought...he that thou knowest thine...'(Franklin)

    What do you mean, Franklin? Are you propositioning me? You bad, bad boy!

    BOWIE/BACKTAGE PASSES Angie's interview with Mike Harvey from 5years.com (Dick please insert link for the bowie fans OR at the end of this piece so they don't click away) This letter reminds me of the fan mail from the 70s and yet this lady is a new fan and it makes me wonder as to the cyclical essence of interest, from Orandon (DICK: please edit or delete the length of any of these letters if you think I have gone overboard)

    "I am a forty year old woman and only a recent fan of DB since 1994! I grew up in a remote part of Montana and missed out on a few things! It was Backstage Passes that prompted me to find out more about Bowie and his music. At the time I read it I wanted to get a sense of what he was like-from a woman's standpoint. His look and his family history of schizophrenia were the 2 things that prompted my curiosity. At the time I was dating someone who was very much like him. But Bowie had been appearing to me in dreams for a couple of years; so I wanted very much to explore more the archetype in my consciousness That's why the first Bowie thing I ever purchased was your book! And I have to say next to Gilman's yours is the best. Your book was exploring things that that I am already involved in-metaphysics. I am a professional psychic and past-life regressionist. I am a practising Zen Buddhist. I very much like to work with dreams colors spirit guides. It was within about a 5 month period of having dreams of being visited at night by a guardian angel...this angel, I later came to realize from your book fit the exact description of Ziggy Stardust. There are particular passages in your book which give me an intense feeling of dj vu, in the respect that I am able to feel what you've described as if I am there. I highlighted those passages as I read along; and many times I go back to them, read them again; visualize the pictures...it is sort of a remote viewing experience in meditation...There have been a couple of times, I could feel the pain of your words so deeply that I cried...Two sections come to mind, the night you met Jimi Hendrix and something really crappy was going on with David at the time that you couldn't put your finger on...and being pregnant with Zowie, and estranged and Zowie's actual birth...Moreover, I was really stunned by your description of what it was really like to be married to someone like David-and the whole phenomena of working through codependancy, betrayal, searching for the real meaning of love, and all of that! I've always wanted to let you know how healing that was for me - that you would be so brave, take so many chances in the name of loving someone. From what I can sense about David Bowie, he's had a lot of growing up to do in this lifetime- at the cost of other people's well being. Certainly I think he's become more considerate with age.

    His album "Hours" was heavily influenced by me. It's not something I tell people about...I don't write in chatrooms or anything like that anymore; but over the last five years I've kept detailed records of all my spiritual journeys with my "guide"....records of e mail correspondences about shared dreams and other paranormal experiences reflective of David Bowie. There is a small faction of us who consider ourselves to be Light People: we've had many discussions on where we come from and our past lives together...You may have seen references of David's being called, for instance, an avatar which was a label that originated with me.

    Over the last five years, I have sent him thank you gifts of all these files etc. on computer disk. (I also collaged an entire David Bowie Tarot deck for him based on the mythology of us Light People) In a nutshell his music has empowered me to balance out my masculine and feminine sides. As a personality I've used him as a role model to explore the dark self destructive aspects of my yang side. The dreams I've had and the "visitations" which come to me as a presence have prevented me from any tendencies to be self-destructive. Ziggy turned me on to Buddhism. I've come to see that Bowie is someone who expects very much to be loved unconditionally...(like we all do. And I've written to him many times describing how that process is working for me.) The song "Omikron" is a song about trusting the wrong people and not going with your gut instincts...As a shaman or avatar I see him as someone who shares power with others through his actions, not necessarily through words. As a businessperson, I've learned how he is someone who is spiritual, yet does not cultivate poverty.

    Of course, I have never heard from him directly. I don't subscribe to Bowie.net.com, however I was the first person to ever suggest that server in his name should be created, in order to facilitate his "community of fans"...A lot of the fans are really messed up-and it seems that Bowie.net is spoon-feeding and toilet-training them a little. It's been interesting to watch things evolve. When he produced "Hours", however I was deeply touched and definitely felt it was a personal thanks in return. And I am very happy because it showed me that the correspondences I sent to him touched him deeply. It seems that the album is rally trying to balance the past and create some freedom for those who've been hurt by him, and who are at a loss for understanding. I would love very much to do your astrology chart, Angie, and study the dynamics there. I would also do a relationship chart on you and David, for my own personal study. I would love to know how you really feel about 'Hours' What it brings up for you spiritually. Please don't feel obligated to write; but if you decide yes-could you please tell me your birth date, time and place? Do you happen to have any idea what time David was born? I've seen a few different charts on him but would like to get an accurate time. If some insight comes out of that I could share with you. I'd love to do that!

    In the meantime thank you again! For just being a brave, creative woman. What I like best is your ability to come forward with your insights, etc., IS your sense of humor! That's the most important thing!

    When I think back on the story of your lives together, I see a lot of rebelliousness and fun- but also tremendous pain and somberness that eventually left people feeling separate of one another...Your book is very healing, in that it breathes the light and the humor into those serious emotions and complex relationships of that time! And that took so much courage on your part! Plus the book is, in itself enlightening. (certainly better than anything I've read by Shirley Maclaine! Sincerely!) Peace and Bliss to you, Angie. (Orandon)

    Thank you for taking the time to write and for the incisive and insightful comments that you shared. There are 2 areas where I have something to say. 'Hours' is an interesting album. I took it very personally. I remembered everything I know about David. I had to write my reaction, armor poetry. Some dangers are heightened by peace talks. I wrote a piece called Kings Cross. DICK should we put the poetry in here?????It might be too controversial! I know that's good but I am not sure.....

    I don't know about having my chart done, but thank you so much for offering.

    'Your interview on the 'Ziggy Stardust Companion" was a very interesting read. And I'm quite pleased that it directed me to your web site. Ever since I first became a fan of your ex-husband, I've found you and your life to be an exhilarating and interesting subject matter. I have the hardcover and audio book versions of 'Backstage Passes" as well as your CD single-The world is changing. (Speaking of the CD single did you have any trouble with your ex-husband's camp for having the same Bowie lettering style on your cover that was used on the Let's dance cover?) Your piece on Bisexuality was a very enlightening read. Your frankness and openness was refreshing. Although I am a straight male, I appreciate the light you have shed on this sometimes confusing subject. Finally, I'm glad to hear that you are enjoying your life and things are going well in the post-David years. Continued good luck to you and best wishes for the future!' (John B)

    Thank you John! No there were no problems from Isolar about the piss-take print on the World Needs Changing but it was not my idea and I was really a little miffed, I felt like it was less a joke on artwork than an acknowledgment that that artwork was so definitive. The record company was headed by a guy called Tom Reich and he thought the artwork with that lettering was really provocative and so in a situation like that you go with it if you want to get the product released with a minimum of fuss!

    'I would like to thank you for making your story available on the Ziggy Stardust Companion site. Your creative contribution to that era and everything to follow has not gone unnoticed by me. I had once the pleasure of meeting you seven years back in a Hollywood Hills party via a nice Welshman named Will who I've long since lost contact with. I had recently become acquainted with Glitter Goddess of the sunset strip on the film set of Angel where we had talked of my interest in the Glam era and the way that Velvet Goldmine- the movie loosely glimpsed into that world and went somewhere else with it. Llana Lloyd had mentioned about your impression of the Mandy Slade character and I must say I found it most amusing that you are cool enough to comment on it in the article. Being a working actor I am not sure how I would react if someone based someone on myself. My hat's off to you! May the glitter always shine in your eyes!' (Evatrix)

    'I just wanted to say that I adored your book Backstage Passes I thought the style was fabulous-I love writers with an edge. I was looking for a colorful and perhaps vindictive portrait of your ex and instead I was presented with a distinctive and clever look into the music business, sexuality and of course David Bowies's career. At first I thought you were overstating your influence on his early development as a theatrical musician, but I have since read many accounts that give you your credit where it's due. Anyway thank you again for the enjoyable read. As a young woman of questionable sexuality, I was very much impressed and encouraged by your approach to life, sex and relationships.' (Sandra K)

    'Questionable sexuality?' but innate talent and a lovely flow! I shall expect to hear wonderful things from you, Ms. K

    'I've been such an admirer of yours ever since I discovered Ziggy Stardust and read every book I could get my hands on about David Bowie in 1992. I was absolutely fascinated by your life and legend and the things that you have accomplished-and now you've got a website! Hurrah! I am so happy to see that you are speaking out for bisexuality. I had the pleasure of hearing you speak at a book signing for backstage passes at the Tattered Cover' in Denver in 1993. I have a few questions I have always wanted to ask you:

    Did you ever hang out with Anita Pallenberg? (Lisa)

  • No. I visited her house and met her son, Marlon on a couple of occasions but I never hung out with her.
  • Cyrinda is beautiful as ever and living in New York.
  • Dana Gillespie is wonderful and working all over the world . She has a great website. You will find all her news there:
  • Cherry Vanilla writes and works with various artists and lives in Los Angeles.
  • Yes, I am a fan of Christopher Walken. He is one of my favorite actors. He chooses the type of scripts that I enjoy.
  • No, there are no more stories about Jimmy Page or Robert Plant from my files. The best book all about the boys is from my friend , Richard Cole who was their security manager: but I am glad you enjoyed Backstage Passes.
  • No, I do not watch the Man who Fell to Earth, I always get queasy when he has to do that thing with the eyes....you know the contact lenses thing!
  • If you ever get you hands on any 70s appearances, I'll tell you 2 classics; the Johnny Carson show and the Mike Douglas show. I sang 'I've got a crush on you' for Mike Douglas. I remember it was pretty cute.

    I have had the best time chatting with you. Hope you'll keep in touch and for those of you who haven't read the Cyprus essays, please do. I think you'll enjoy them and I want to have turned you on to something apart from the established links that are in your mind between bisexuality, David Bowie, Backstage Passes and me.

    Let's move on to a new body of subjects. I challenge you to investigate a cool place: Cyprus. Now I have the pleasure of writing my 4th installment of the Tucson Journal. Have a wonderful month and if it's not FUN, DON'T DO IT!!!!

    Love Angie

    5years.com the link for the bowie fans

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