Dear E mailers,

Thank you for a memorable Valentine's Day? How come so many of you knew it is my favorite holiday? I am big on heart and was thrilled to have so many responses to the Bisexuality 2000 article, just in time for V day!

Mr. Funtone is so cute, I asked him what to do about the e mails and he said, "Well, have you kept them?" "Of course," I replied. "Then answer them as an article, it'll be good reading. I hoped you would."

That's how Mr. Funtone is, cryptic and right. I just didn't know if I were ready to get up on that little tip of the pen and dance and balance and see if I could answer every e mail in one article. I am so thrilled there were readers from all over the world, right there my heart is doing a jetee and a turn, bowing and receiving thanks, dancing and twirling, smiling and gulping air for the big run and the final spin, the landing soft and graceful, let's see how I do with concepts?

To everyone whose message was LOVE, just LOVE, that's more than sufficient and I send you back LOVE X LOVE X Kisses X Hugs.

"What is wrong with me wanting to make love to another woman?"

Nothing and everything. Nothing is wrong with wanting to make love to another WOMAN, but something is wrong with wanting to make love to anybody else than who you're with. If your partner does not share in that kind of turn on then perhaps there is a lack of communication, plenty of chat is essential then a game plan for being together or splitting up becomes apparent. Only in chat can we ask, question, probe the partner's wildest dreams. Intimacy involves mental commitment not just physically being there and chore performance

"Any suggestions on how to overcome this barrier and fully experience my desires?"

You know, this is a great question. I don't know what to say to you. The rebel in me, sympathizes and the comfort-loving hedonist wonders if you're going to scatter feathers all over the barnyard! Sometimes jumping in with passionate disregard for the consequences blows more than air up your skirt

I speak from experience. One time, I went to a city to experience a different way of life and after a couple of lovers I was enthusiastic about never participating again, a very different result than I had expected. I found out the reasons for my being there were not about my sexuality, they were about my daughter's adolescence. I waited and when it was time to leave that city, a great love was sent to me and my daughter was by my side, so in the end, everything works out.

Weigh up your rebel side and then think very carefully of your comfort-loving side and of course if there are children or pets, think about them too. Think about how much you can afford to discombobulate the lifestyle you have achieved by suddenly striking out on a different path. If after all that thinking and chatting-don't forget the chatting, two heads contribute twice as much advice and they refine and improve the original supposition, & you have a way to experience your desires, go for it!

"What is your advice to a girl, who feels herself rather a gay boy?"

These are the best questions. You guys blow me away! There was a great e mail if I may quote, I am not using the person's name to be polite I guess, in case they e-mailed me in confidence but here is his answer:

"I've always thought heterosexuality, homosexuality and bisexuality with its implications of 100% straight, 100% gay or 50/50 bi are very childish, simplistic, convenient ways of explaining sexual attraction. I think it's far more complex than that and I believe most people can feel a broad range of sexual feelings that change or evolve throughout their lives."

This enlightened gentleman's e mail was greatly enjoyed. A gay boy? well that's understandable, I think I am a gay boy. You like to wear pants, act protective? That's a turn-on. What's the problem?

"I need help on how to explain to my fiance that he has to accept the fact that I'm Bi. Why doesn't he just accept the fact that I'm Bi? please write me back and tell me what to do."

Why is he your fiance? If you're Bi why are you buying into marriage unless it is to another Bisexual? Or are you getting married because you want to get wedding gifts, I hope not but who knows? By having a fiance you've basically given him the right to dictate what he can expect from you. If you're going to take the part, stick to the script. I think you're just saying you're Bi to irritate him and I can relate to that. If you want to irritate him now you better think twice about marrying him because he 's really going to irritate you later.

"I read the transcription of your lecture with great interest and I'm not surprised to find that I agree with much of what you say. I have discovered, however, that even among strong advocates and courageous campaigners for sexual freedom, gay rights and lesbian rights that there is a very low tolerance of an even smaller and more oppressed sexual minority. I refer to those individuals who find themselves in love with, and sexually attracted to, members of their own family. I concede that there is an enormous potential for abuse, but incestuous relationships (as you pointed out in your lecture) were among the first to be made taboo.

My own family disintegrated when I was 13, my parents divorced, my mother became an alcoholic, and although she did her best, basically our world crashed. The oldest of my three sisters (18 months younger than myself) and I did our best to pull things together, and filled in the gaps that our mother's addiction and disability created in family life. In short, I suppose we became surrogate parents of a sort to the other two girls. As we grew older, I think we both became aware of and dependant upon the other's love and emotional support. I kept my own feelings for her buried as deeply as I could, having strong feelings of guilt and shame, much the way I have heard gay men and lesbian women describe their feelings about realizing they were gay. I did not WANT to be attracted to my sister, I felt perverse, and swore to myself I would stifle it. When I was seventeen, and she fifteen, we threw a party while my mother was gone out of town and my two youngest sisters were spending the night with a neighbor friend's family. After all the party-goers had left, we tried to clean up, but we were both intoxicated and decided to put it off until the next morning. I went up to my room and got ready for bed. Much to my surprise, my sister showed up at my bedroom door in her nightgown with a bottle of wine and two glasses. She told me, "I love you more than any person on! earth, there's nobody who makes me feel like a complete person like you do, and tonight---it's now or never." We consummated our love for one another and our mutual attraction that night, and fell asleep in each others arms.

The next day, of course, in the clear light of day and hung over, we were both guilt-stricken, and hardly talked while we cleaned up the house. Several days later, I asked her to go for a walk, and we talked about it. I still felt guilty, but she seemed to have a clear conscience. We "dated" carefully all through the rest of my time in high-school. When I was 20, our mother discovered our affair, and threatened me with prosecution, blaming me, and forbidding me to see my sister or talk to her on the phone. My sister became quite depressed, but agreed to these restrictions to protect me. We agreed to break off our relationship, and to try to be "normal" siblings. Eventually, she married, and later, so did I, but the spark, the atmosphere between us is charged, especially when we find ourselves alone together. Once, at age 39, on a long auto trip with her, she and I had what I consider to be the most meaningful and tender conversation I have ever had in my life. I've been married twice and divorced twice, and I've had numerous romances, but none of them, not one, can compare with her. Society forbids us to love, at least, it forbids a sexual relationship. I understand all the reasons why. It's just that I mourn her loss, and despair of not being with her. She has told me before "You know that we cannot be together. We just have to go on, and forget it." But when she kisses me, I know that her lips tell the truth in her heart. But I do accept the restrictions of society. To do otherwise places her in too much danger.

I don't have any idea why I wrote this to you. I certainly don't expect you to suddenly support the idea of sibling incest, nor do I expect things to change. Things are what they are, and that's that. But it is comforting to tell the truth, albeit, pretty much anonymously. "

I had never put myself in the position of someone who could not help themselves as far as a relationship with a family member before and your e-mail forced me to take a long look at myself my superstition and the taboos that surround sexual gratification. I don't think one can hold it against someone. Your situation put you through experiences that are character building. You and your sister were coping with a nuclear family situation. Interestingly enough, as always I rushed for my research and loved this line from the Encyclopaedia, "Most social scientists believe that the primary purpose of the prohibition, often called the incest taboo, is to protect the nuclear family from the consequences of sexual rivalry and jealousy. The taboo is linked with the rule of exogamy which requires marriage outside of one's family. Besides reinforcing the incest prohibition, this rule prevents families from becoming culturally ingrown and encapsulated through perpetual endogamy or marriage within specified segments of a society. Marriage to relatives outside the nuclear family is common in a number of cultures, however, and it is no longer widely believed that the incest prohibition serves principally to guard against inbreeding as a negative biological consequence of incest." (Barnes & Noble new American Encyclopaedia)

I can only make a few observations-who thought up the incest taboo? somebody did and made it law. Now we are witnessing the disintegration of the nuclear family and ushering in the era of cloning... Hello! Your situation is not as isolated as you may think. Surprisingly enough, in the last year, I have heard of two other cases of sibling love affairs. In one instance, the people did not know they were related and when they found out, it made no difference in their love or their behavior. Obviously this incest taboo is a bunch of baloney especially when you are in the middle of it. As an interesting postscript, in both of those cases as with yours the mothers prosecuted, kind of interesting isn't it? Maybe Ma wanted some and that old family rivalry rears its ugly head. I enjoyed reading your e mail and thank you for reminding me that there are plenty of areas where people still feel unfulfilled.

"I am involved with a man who I believe tries to tell me that he is bi. He won't just come out and tell me. How should I handle this?"

Be your most divine. Tell him you've developed a passion for dancing and you want to go dancing this weekend. When you get to the dance hall choose the cutest dance partner you can find and dance and drink and making your boyfriend a part of this, ask him. With a cute boy on hand, he may be tempted to camp it up and tell the truth.

"We love to play sex games. can you help us?"

Sex Games. You betcha! How about "Nursie, nursie?" or "Oh no, the pirate is taking us across the desert," one of my favorites. Whatever your imagination can invent. Pull out the props, cross dress, crank up the jacuzzi, have a blast!

"I am a married woman with frequent obsessions about being with another woman. I have never experienced anything but sex with men, but would like to know how to meet someone locally, speak with them and see out my obsession. Can you help me? Curious in Oklahoma."

You know, I think you would be best served by going to a professional. Whenever anybody uses the word obsession I am inclined to think it's better to pay for it. That way no-one gets hurt. Everybody knows what's going on and you can request the specific stuff that you want to experience. If once you are aware that sex with a woman is what you want- as opposed to sex with men - then you might want to access the resources of the gay and lesbian community in Oklahoma, that's all available on your internet.

Love, Angie